Call the Canaries Home: A Novel by Laura Barrow

Author:Laura Barrow [Barrow, Laura]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lake Union Publishing
Published: 2023-07-01T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 19

RAYANNE

Saturday Afternoon

“I don’t understand why you’re so upset,” Savannah said, brushing me off as she paced the length of the porch.

“Because you put yourself in danger. You’re so stuck in the past you can’t see what you’re doing to yourself. To all of us.”

“Oh, get over yourself, Rayanne. It had nothing to do with you or anyone else. I did it for me.”

“It was irresponsible and stupid.” Checking behind me, I lowered my voice to a whisper, hoping our grandmother was still asleep. “Can you imagine what Meemaw would do if she found out?”

“She’s not going to find out,” she said, hardening her gaze at me.

“God, you are so selfish. Have you forgotten how much it crushed her when we found out the truth? I haven’t. And she took all of us down with her into her paranoia. The hoarding got twice as bad. I’m not going to watch her go through it all again because you need closure.”

“Ease up on her,” Sue Ellen said, making me do a double take in her direction.

“Oh, you of all people are taking her side?”

“I’m not taking anyone’s side. I just think you need to calm down.” She pushed out her hands smoothly, which only made me want to slap her.

“Right, because I’m the unreasonable one.” When neither of them responded, I scoffed out a laugh. “Excuse me. Am I the only adult here?” I asked, drawing a hand to my chest. “Am I the only one who can see how irresponsible it is to go traipsing around prisons with murderers?”

“She made a mistake,” Sue Ellen reasoned.

Savannah shook her head. “I didn’t make a mistake.”

“And just because you have kids,” Sue Ellen continued, “doesn’t make you more responsible than us, so please stop throwing it in our faces.”

I gave an incredulous laugh. I could not believe she was going there again. “What is with you? I don’t think I’m better. You think your life’s better because you have the freedom to do what you want? God, you never were able to see past yourself.”

She drew herself up, fixing her gaze on me like a predator eyeing its next meal. “No. I think my life’s better because I don’t have to medicate in order to survive it.” She said the next part under her breath, but I heard it loud and clear. “It’s not my fault you didn’t finish college.”

Stunned, I stared back at her open mouthed, trying to make sense of her words. Only a few people knew that my first pregnancy had ended in a miscarriage, after I’d agreed to marry Graham and dropped out of classes. When we lost it, I felt guilty that the thing I felt most about it all was relief. Afterward, it took us ten years to conceive Tucker, and I wondered if it was some sort of punishment for not being more upset about it. “I can’t believe you would—”

“I’m sorry.” She screwed her eyes shut and cringed. “It just came out. I don’t know why I said that.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.